Now I don’t know about you, but the last thing this old hog would want is to finish up in some sort of retirement village for pigs…..not amongst all them old sows.

Of course I can’t speak for Bruce…but maybe he figures that Edgar’s is a better option than the piggery.

He just better watch out for Miss Alice….she’s one mean looking sow.

Run Bruce Run!

BREAKING NEWS - BRUCE CAUGHT IN DRAMATIC AMBUSH

Well , just as I feared, poor old Bruce has been captured and is now off to the piggery - them old sows can hardly wait.

Yep…I like it. Had it coming to him. Didn’t he?

So, now yer here. Don’t forget to leave a comment

I’m outta here.

See ya

The Hog

David Feherty was recently interviewed and when asked about his position related to Tiger, here was his response…

“People have accused me of being so far up Tiger’s arse that he can barely make a full swing, but I maintain that he is a special person.

There’s no one else on the planet who can do what he does or even think of doing what he does. I’ve often thought, instead of showing Tiger’s reaction to a shot he’s hit, we really should show the reaction of those around him.”

But here is the next best thing. “I’m walking down the 18th fairway at Firestone Country Club with Ernie Els and Tiger, who has popped up a three-wood about 40 yards behind Ernie into some wet, nasty, horrible, six-inch rough,” Feherty says.

“Tiger’s cursing and taking clumps out of Ohio with his three-wood. And, of course, we’re not showing this on TV because we want to be able to interview him later. Ernie and I walk past Tiger’s ball, and it is truly buried.

“Ernie is tied with Tiger and he’s in the middle of the fairway. I’m standing with Ernie and my microphone is open. Ken Venturi [in the CBS booth] sends it to me and I say, ‘Tiger’s got 184 yards with two big red oaks overhanging the green. He’s got absolutely nothing. With a stick of dynamite and a sand wedge I might be able to move this ball 50 yards. Steve Williams [Woods’ caddie] tells me [with a hand signal] that he’s using a pitching wedge.’

“Tiger takes his swing. Every muscle in his body is flung at the ball. It looks like he’s torn his nutsack. The divot went as far as I could hit the ball. I’ve got my microphone at my mouth thinking, what the hell was that! The ball sails over the trees, lands behind the hole and backs up to a bout six feet from the flag. I open my microphone and Ernie turns and says, ‘F*** me!’

“My producer comes on in my earpiece and says, ‘Was that Ernie?’ I say yes. He says, ‘Fair enough.’

“I could have described that shot for 15 minutes and not done as good a job as Ernie did with two words. This is one of the best players in the world talking, and you wanna know how good Tiger is? Ask Ernie Els.”

Thanks to Jack at ……How to Break 80……appreciate the story man.

Those ungrateful sods at www.golf.com.au had the audacity to kick me off their website - politically correct ba$*a*ds!

I used to have a scratch in the bar, lurk in the casual water and admire the ladies playing ’round the dog legs. Not any more - not since they went all up market…..boring ba$*a*ds!

I ain’t goin’ back to Golf.com.au no more…no more….aint goin’ back no more!

Business Dude: Hey Coach…..what’s the matter with my game? Can’t seem to get the ball airborne.

Coach: Yep, I can see what your problem is dude.

Business Dude: Yeah, what is it Coach?

Coach: Well, it’s obvious to me you have a problem with your “Loft”

Business Dude: What do you mean, my “Loft”

Coach: It’s your “Loft” man …….it’s your……. Lack Of F**kin’ Talent

“Hey guys, what’s white and 10 inches long?”………….(pauses for a moment…but no reply)

“Nuthin’”…..he grins broadly.

Big black dude takes his seat and leaves the other pros to ponder their deficiencies. Joel Garner aint got nothin’ on this dude!

No wonder he scares the shit outta everyone…..’cept of course Big John D who aint scared of nuthin’